The live of a transsexual person is not an easy one. We are such a small population demographic that it is difficult to find someone who gets you. In my life I have discovered that transsexual people in small towns are often bitter and lonely. For this reason, and pretty much for this reason alone, transsexual people are usually drawn to large urban centres.
My first experience with online romance happened several years ago in chat-rooms on AOL. At first, I thought that the chat room concept was exactly what I needed to meet people from other communities. I was not strongly tied to my community and was willing to move just about anywhere if I met the right person. It did not take me long to realize that chat rooms are full of charlatans. They either get their kicks by leading people on, or else they are there to prey on people to get them to part with their money.
I was living in a small rural community when I first found AOL. I do not have mainstream sexual preferences, and it was having no luck finding someone of a compatible nature in my community. I was so alone, and this tool appeared to be the answer to my prayers. Finally, a chance to meet someone online without having to just wander around the country aimlessly looking for love.
Finding people to chat with was not any problem. I met many. Unfortunately I could not find someone who I thought was “the one”. For a period of time, I was pretty sure I had found my love, but the more I talked to them, the more I realized that there was something off emotionally. I decided to pass on them.
One of the issues that I discovered was that while online you can pretty much pretend to be anybody you want to be. It is a safe place to lie to other people, because if you are careful, nobody knows who you really are anyway. There are no cybercops to beat you with a stick if you lie or otherwise misrepresent yourself. Some people just cannot resist the freedom to feed other people with BS. There is almost no chance that you will ever be discovered, and even if you are, you will almost never be held accountable. For some people who have no scruples, it is just the undisciplined play area that they have always wanted.
Online relationships are as varied as in person relationships, but they often bias towards the more hurtful. The fact that people are anonymous often sees them dissing on you rather than building you up. They can leave you with serious questions about your own self worth. If you let them, they can even drive you to the brink of suicide. If you fall in love with someone, and they pull away, it can leave you questioning why it is that relationships are not working out. You tend to question yourself when in fact the fault is the media itself.
When looking for love online, you will have to keep your sincerity radar on full alert. It is so easy to be drawn into a con job. I had the experience of being approached by quite a few people who acted like they were really interested in me. We seemed to have a lot in common and we would chat endlessly, sometimes for weeks. The funny thing was they would never ask to take the conversation to the phone, and of course I never insisted that we converse by phone, instead I would let these chats go on and on. I wasted a lot of time chatting with these people.
I decided that too many people were leading me around by the nose. So as not to waste any more time in conversations that were going absolutely nowhere I decided to set some limits. I decided that from now on I would chat online for no more than a week, and then if we both found each other interesting I would insist they call me on the phone or I could call them.
I was flabbergasted at how many people simply vanished into cyberspace when I forced the telephone issue. To my way of thinking, real people use telephones, talking on the phone is an essential component of the process of getting to know someone. If they have issues talking to you on the phone, then they are either deceitful, or else they have anxiety issues that will likely get in the way later anyway!
Talking by telephone is a better way to clue into the real person behind the smilies that you get all the time in chat rooms. Phone access is a two way street when it comes to getting to know each other. If you can never call this person at home, only get busy signals or talking to voice mail, or worse yet, find yourself at the giving end of a pager, then you should be smelling a rat!
I was at a low point about chat room friendships.A friend suggested trying an online dating site. I ranted at him about how stupid online sites were and how you cannot trust anyone. But he surprised me by saying that it was not a free chat site, but a paid dating site. People put profiles in and the computer actually helped you to find compatible matches. The best thing is that because you have to pay for your account, people tend to only be there if they are serious about starting a new relationship! I was shocked speechless! I had no idea they even existed. He gave me a link to hundreds of dating sites, including a page of transsexual dating sites.
Let me cut to the chase and say that I tried a couple of the sites out and found someone for me. I have never been happier. Please check out the link below for yourself. If a transvestite like me can find love, so can you!